#27 Marathons
January 26, 2008 by clander
In life, there are certain milestones of physical activity that can define you. A sub 5 second 40 yard dash, a 40 inch vertical leap and so forth. To a white person, the absolute pinnacle of fitness is to run a marathon. Not to win, just to run.
White people will train for months, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up early in the morning, they run when it rains, how it makes them feels so great and gives them energy.
When they finish the marathon, they will generally take a photo of themselves in a pair of New Balance sneakers, running shorts, and their marathon number with both hands over their head in triumph (seriously, look it up, this is universal).
They will then set goals like running in the Boston Marathon or the New York Marathon.
If you find yourself in a situation where a white person is talking about a marathon, you must be impressed or you will lose favor with them immediately. Running for a certain length of time on a specific day is a very important thing to a white person and should not be demeaned.
Also worth nothing, more competitive white people prefer triathlons because Kenyans can’t afford $10,000 specialty bicycles. If the subject ever comes up, just say that triathletes are in better shape than football and basketball players. It’s not true, but it will make the conversation a lot more genial. 
Could NOT keep our arms down to our sides and play it cool. NOPE!!! We are soooooo white. I wonder if theres a post on that blog about white people wearing hot pink spandex pants??? hahaha
p.s. look out kenyans...I got the bike too!!! I'm coming..beware!!!
12 comments:
that website cracks me up it's so right and wrong at the same time!
watch out for the duff on the bike!!
I love that website! It's hee-larious.
I have seen that post before, but it still cracks me up!!!
You Are All That And A Bag Of Chips! Very funny.
The hot pink is also very white.
you might want to clarify that the site is a spoof site or it could be taken wrong esprcially since your in ga. not that it offends me or anything. but very funny i think
Very funny!
that stuff is a hoot!!!
its dead on....
except for them leaving out the part about the pink spandex
I LOVE Stuff White People Like! So amazing :) There is also a one-liner one called "White Whine" that's all about yuppie complaints. Example: “August? Already? I feel like I barely got to wear my linen shirts this summer. What a waste.” Some are funny and some are dumb, but they're all just one line so it only takes a second to glance at it on my google reader.
Too funny!
That is too funny. I guess I'm white as rice too.
That is HILARIOUS!!! Love IT!
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