So after that little post of foolishness...that very night I didn't set my alarm clock correctly. Of course you do one of those "Omg..theres no way I should still be sleeping!". I look at the clock..its 7:15.....I had "set" my alarm for 5:15. So I somehow managed to think on my feet realizing I better let my cousins know I was still there so they didn't back out and hit my car. (My cousins so graciously took me in instead of staying in the ghetto hotel). I crept upstairs and listened.....nothing. I figured I would wait there for a minute to see if anyone was up yet. All of a sudden I hear "Theres someone downstairs.....GET HIM!!!....I'll get the phone to call 911!!" OH Shit...I think to myself...I'm about to get beat up with a baseball bat. I quickly yelled out that it was me...and then of course a few minutes later the tears started. I just felt like I couldn't do anything right. I had to send a text later apologizing for all the commotion I caused..haha. Other than that...I don't think I did many more stupid things. I'm sure I did...but I probably didn't even realize it.
So now I think its time to finally set up a plan for the marathon. Although I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull it off....I know theres no way in hell it will happen if I don't get a plan of action. So as soon as I hit "Publish Post", I will figure out what plan I'm going to "use". Basically all I can do is give it my best.....and not be too hard on myself. I think after Disney..I will probably stick to half marathons for a while. My life is just a little too insane and irregular to keep up with marathon training. Other news.........I get to move back to Georgia to be with my husband in a week!!! HOLY COW!! I miss my puppy too! And you know what that means.....gorgeous weather to run in! I can't wait for familiarity.....and a big cozy warm cuddling buddy:)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Silly me
The last post started with "Things I've Done This Week..."....This one will begin with
Stupid things I've done this week...and it's only Tuesday
1) It carries over from last week. They give us free lunch tickets...and last week I left them in my scrub pocket when I put my scrubs in the dirty laundry at the hospital. WHOOOPS! So Monday I politely ask the secretary for more lunch tickets and explain what happened. Apparently I looked really scared and timid because the lady felt compelled to do an impression of me and told me not to be so scared next time. So I was bound and determined not to lose these free lunch food stamps and put them in a "safe" spot...aka...the purse. Today while I was getting ready for work I look at my purse and think "Nope...don't need you today!". I swear I'm not meant to have free lunches at this hospital
2) Today I lost the lock for my locker....no clue where it is...
3)Besides losing the lock...I never officially locked it because I didn't trust myself on being able to a) memorize the code and b) not lose the paper with the code on it. SO I just kept it unlocked and on my locker for decoration...until it mysteriously disappeared. I'm too embarassed to tell the secretary lady that one.
4) Didn't fill the anesthesia machine with anesthetic gases (don't worry folks..my patient didn't wake up...we caught it just in time before it ran out)
5)I knew I couldnt trust myself to fill it up and change the CO2 absorbers between cases so I wrote all over the CO2 absorber in a sharpie to remind myself'
6) Forgot to pack underwear and socks...had to go to Walgreens and looked real stupid buying 4 packs of underwear. Oh and don't worry because I forgot to take socks home with me last weekend...so I bought 2 packs while I was home...but left them there on accident..so just had to buy 2 more packs.
7)My preceptor asked me to get a fluid warmer because it got contaminated...which obviously meant the tubing. But I of course mis understood her and went and brought back a new 20 lbs fluid warmer (spilled water all over my pants)...instead of getting a new set of tubing and being done with it.
Do you clearly see why I feel I should be pleading insanity and unfit to deliver anesthesia here? I think I need to talk to a doctor and get an insanity excuse to take a few more days off. haha. I know they always say in times like this you feel "normal"..but you definitely arent. I told my Mom we should write down all the stupid things we do this week...so we can laugh at the end of the week. I guess I'll keep my list on the blog so ya'll can have some laughs too.
Running front- Had an amazing 4 mile run in the hills yesterday. Felt unstoppable. Part of my inspiration to run hard was to completely tire myself out. I got about an hour of sleep the night before..so I figured the harder I ran and the more tired I was...the better I would sleep. It most definitely worked!! Its much better than taking Advil PM and being exhausted the next day (oh gosh..could you imagine how big my stupidity list would get if I kept taking those dudes?)
Hop everywun haz a GRATE weak.
Stupid things I've done this week...and it's only Tuesday
1) It carries over from last week. They give us free lunch tickets...and last week I left them in my scrub pocket when I put my scrubs in the dirty laundry at the hospital. WHOOOPS! So Monday I politely ask the secretary for more lunch tickets and explain what happened. Apparently I looked really scared and timid because the lady felt compelled to do an impression of me and told me not to be so scared next time. So I was bound and determined not to lose these free lunch food stamps and put them in a "safe" spot...aka...the purse. Today while I was getting ready for work I look at my purse and think "Nope...don't need you today!". I swear I'm not meant to have free lunches at this hospital
2) Today I lost the lock for my locker....no clue where it is...
3)Besides losing the lock...I never officially locked it because I didn't trust myself on being able to a) memorize the code and b) not lose the paper with the code on it. SO I just kept it unlocked and on my locker for decoration...until it mysteriously disappeared. I'm too embarassed to tell the secretary lady that one.
4) Didn't fill the anesthesia machine with anesthetic gases (don't worry folks..my patient didn't wake up...we caught it just in time before it ran out)
5)I knew I couldnt trust myself to fill it up and change the CO2 absorbers between cases so I wrote all over the CO2 absorber in a sharpie to remind myself'
6) Forgot to pack underwear and socks...had to go to Walgreens and looked real stupid buying 4 packs of underwear. Oh and don't worry because I forgot to take socks home with me last weekend...so I bought 2 packs while I was home...but left them there on accident..so just had to buy 2 more packs.
7)My preceptor asked me to get a fluid warmer because it got contaminated...which obviously meant the tubing. But I of course mis understood her and went and brought back a new 20 lbs fluid warmer (spilled water all over my pants)...instead of getting a new set of tubing and being done with it.
Do you clearly see why I feel I should be pleading insanity and unfit to deliver anesthesia here? I think I need to talk to a doctor and get an insanity excuse to take a few more days off. haha. I know they always say in times like this you feel "normal"..but you definitely arent. I told my Mom we should write down all the stupid things we do this week...so we can laugh at the end of the week. I guess I'll keep my list on the blog so ya'll can have some laughs too.
Running front- Had an amazing 4 mile run in the hills yesterday. Felt unstoppable. Part of my inspiration to run hard was to completely tire myself out. I got about an hour of sleep the night before..so I figured the harder I ran and the more tired I was...the better I would sleep. It most definitely worked!! Its much better than taking Advil PM and being exhausted the next day (oh gosh..could you imagine how big my stupidity list would get if I kept taking those dudes?)
Hop everywun haz a GRATE weak.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Recap
Things Ive done this week:
-Donated flowers to a nursing home
-Cleaned out the garage for my Mom
-Had an Ambien sleepover (My mom, SIL, and I all took Ambien and had a few drinks and had a sleepover party...haha...oh and we gave my little niece a benadryl so she could join in on the fun and silliness)
-Ran a few times,took Mom on a 6 mile walk
- Cooked a lot
But unfortunately it's Sunday again...which means I have to head back to C'nati. Any thought of going back to that place makes me want to puke in my mouth. I only have to do 10 more days at the hospital...so I know I can get through it. Also I have quite a few plans this week like staying with my cousins for a night or two (vs. sketchy hotel room by myself), going to my friends kickboxing class (my instructor from undergrad that goes to Cinci for grad school), and celebrating a best friends b day. Friday I get to come back home again and see "The Mom" and do some fun stuff with her.
Next month I'll be back in Savannah, GA where the life is good and the livins easy. Actually I heard the rotation is pretty bad...but I know one thing....the livin will be easy. I'll be back in my own house, with my own bed, and my own husband, and my own Doggie, with people I know. It can't get much better than that! In a time like this...one seeks comfort, familiarity, support from loved ones. There was nothing harder than losing someone unexpectedly and driving yourself back to a world of isolation and unfamiliarity (esp when you are a student and they are judging every move you make). I had never set foot into that hospital until the Monday after my Dad's funeral. I had no clue who anyone was..or where anything was..yet I was responsible for taking care of these patients and putting them to sleep. All I could think is "OMG...my Dad died!" Also...my Mom actually has to come to Savannah in November for business...funny how that worked out. She already had plans to come for Thanksgiving as well....and then we are MOVINGGG!!!!
Right after Thanksgiving we are moving all our belongings back up to Ohio into my PARENTS (I can't just say Mom yet...I refuse) house. We are going to live there for a while and then eventually move in next door when the renters move out in May. (My parents own the house next door...funny how that works out). From then on...Cleveland will be our "home base", but I'll still have another rotation in Savannah in Feb (I'll live w friends), Atlanta in March, and possibly Texas later on too! Meanwhile I will try to get this blog back to more of a running/working out focus and get my head on to do some training for the marathon. I however can't promise that there won't be some spillage from my crazy life......
-Donated flowers to a nursing home
-Cleaned out the garage for my Mom
-Had an Ambien sleepover (My mom, SIL, and I all took Ambien and had a few drinks and had a sleepover party...haha...oh and we gave my little niece a benadryl so she could join in on the fun and silliness)
-Ran a few times,took Mom on a 6 mile walk
- Cooked a lot
But unfortunately it's Sunday again...which means I have to head back to C'nati. Any thought of going back to that place makes me want to puke in my mouth. I only have to do 10 more days at the hospital...so I know I can get through it. Also I have quite a few plans this week like staying with my cousins for a night or two (vs. sketchy hotel room by myself), going to my friends kickboxing class (my instructor from undergrad that goes to Cinci for grad school), and celebrating a best friends b day. Friday I get to come back home again and see "The Mom" and do some fun stuff with her.
Next month I'll be back in Savannah, GA where the life is good and the livins easy. Actually I heard the rotation is pretty bad...but I know one thing....the livin will be easy. I'll be back in my own house, with my own bed, and my own husband, and my own Doggie, with people I know. It can't get much better than that! In a time like this...one seeks comfort, familiarity, support from loved ones. There was nothing harder than losing someone unexpectedly and driving yourself back to a world of isolation and unfamiliarity (esp when you are a student and they are judging every move you make). I had never set foot into that hospital until the Monday after my Dad's funeral. I had no clue who anyone was..or where anything was..yet I was responsible for taking care of these patients and putting them to sleep. All I could think is "OMG...my Dad died!" Also...my Mom actually has to come to Savannah in November for business...funny how that worked out. She already had plans to come for Thanksgiving as well....and then we are MOVINGGG!!!!
Right after Thanksgiving we are moving all our belongings back up to Ohio into my PARENTS (I can't just say Mom yet...I refuse) house. We are going to live there for a while and then eventually move in next door when the renters move out in May. (My parents own the house next door...funny how that works out). From then on...Cleveland will be our "home base", but I'll still have another rotation in Savannah in Feb (I'll live w friends), Atlanta in March, and possibly Texas later on too! Meanwhile I will try to get this blog back to more of a running/working out focus and get my head on to do some training for the marathon. I however can't promise that there won't be some spillage from my crazy life......
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Moving on...
But NEVER forgetting. I made it through the week. Everynight people would come over my house and we would all have a drink or two and tell funny stories about my Dad. It was very therapeutic.
The wake was all day Thursday..it was a very long and exhausting day. I was shocked at the amount of people and the amount of support we had. It made me realize that whenever I felt stupid for going to peoples funerals that I barely knew...when you are on the other side...its very comforting to have them all there.
Friday was the funeral. The mass was absolutely beautiful...I stood up and did a reading. A lot of people wondered how I could have the strength to do something like that, but I had done it before at my Grandpa's so I knew I could get through it. At the very end...the bagpiper (the one that played in my wedding) played Amazing Grace....which opened up the flood gates for everyone in the church (including myself...I was sort of cursing myself for a minute for having him play...but it was absolutely beautiful). HE also played at the cemetery.
Then.........the fun began!! Yes you read right.....fun!! We had an ENORMOUS partayyyy at the homested. My Mom had spend $1k on alcohol and food. The party started at 1pm and ended at 1am! We had a band...friends...family...neighbors...its exactly what my Dad wanted (and often talked about....unfortunately he never talked about whether he wanted to be cremated or buried). People were doing shots that had never drank in their life..just in honor of my Dad. Also everyone had his Hawaiin shirts on..too funny. Heres some pictures from the party....
Here you can see some of the Hawiian shirts people were wearing
Ive been doing a lot of walking since that is something my Mom and I can do together. But it has been like 3-5 mile walks. I will probably go for a run today. I'm taking it one day at a time. I would love to say that I'm going to be ready to run a marathon in January for the Disney...but I'm going to take it day by day. In the end...I may be walking the marathon...which is FINE with me. Running takes so much mental strength which is an area of weakness for me right now.
Some other craziness that happened this weekend. My Dad used to love when Toledo would beat big teams in college football. (I went to Toledo...and he would always be the first to call me when we beat a ranked team). This weekend Toledo beat Michigan AT Michigan. It gets better though. My Dad LOVED the Cleveland Browns (As do I). A lot of people who did a toast to him...talked about One DAY...Possibly SOMEDAY...if the Browns ever go to the Super Bowl...they will be sad my Dad missed it. Well the Browns are not going to the superbowl... but on Monday they beat the Super Bowl Champs (Giants) by a large margin during Monday night football. All I could think about was "This ones for Dad!" It was so exciting.
Daddys Little Girl....Always Loved....Never Forgotten....I miss you Daddy!
The wake was all day Thursday..it was a very long and exhausting day. I was shocked at the amount of people and the amount of support we had. It made me realize that whenever I felt stupid for going to peoples funerals that I barely knew...when you are on the other side...its very comforting to have them all there.
Friday was the funeral. The mass was absolutely beautiful...I stood up and did a reading. A lot of people wondered how I could have the strength to do something like that, but I had done it before at my Grandpa's so I knew I could get through it. At the very end...the bagpiper (the one that played in my wedding) played Amazing Grace....which opened up the flood gates for everyone in the church (including myself...I was sort of cursing myself for a minute for having him play...but it was absolutely beautiful). HE also played at the cemetery.
Then.........the fun began!! Yes you read right.....fun!! We had an ENORMOUS partayyyy at the homested. My Mom had spend $1k on alcohol and food. The party started at 1pm and ended at 1am! We had a band...friends...family...neighbors...its exactly what my Dad wanted (and often talked about....unfortunately he never talked about whether he wanted to be cremated or buried). People were doing shots that had never drank in their life..just in honor of my Dad. Also everyone had his Hawaiin shirts on..too funny. Heres some pictures from the party....
Here you can see some of the Hawiian shirts people were wearing
Ive been doing a lot of walking since that is something my Mom and I can do together. But it has been like 3-5 mile walks. I will probably go for a run today. I'm taking it one day at a time. I would love to say that I'm going to be ready to run a marathon in January for the Disney...but I'm going to take it day by day. In the end...I may be walking the marathon...which is FINE with me. Running takes so much mental strength which is an area of weakness for me right now.
Some other craziness that happened this weekend. My Dad used to love when Toledo would beat big teams in college football. (I went to Toledo...and he would always be the first to call me when we beat a ranked team). This weekend Toledo beat Michigan AT Michigan. It gets better though. My Dad LOVED the Cleveland Browns (As do I). A lot of people who did a toast to him...talked about One DAY...Possibly SOMEDAY...if the Browns ever go to the Super Bowl...they will be sad my Dad missed it. Well the Browns are not going to the superbowl... but on Monday they beat the Super Bowl Champs (Giants) by a large margin during Monday night football. All I could think about was "This ones for Dad!" It was so exciting.
Daddys Little Girl....Always Loved....Never Forgotten....I miss you Daddy!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
AHHHHHHHH!
Ok! I'm sure some of you wonder if my life could get any crazier...it has. My Mom and Aunt came down to visit me this past weekend in Cincinnati..(my home for October). We had a wonderful weekend with the fam...and then my life stopped. Literally...
I got a phone call from my Mom Sunday night saying that my Dad had passed away. When she got home she found him at the bottom of the basement stairs.
As you can see...I'm pretty speechless. Life has just pretty much stopped...my Dad was my world. He was the one that told me how proud of me he was everyday.
So anyway...keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I did however go for a run today to just burn off some steam. Pretty sure it was the fastest run in a while.
I got a phone call from my Mom Sunday night saying that my Dad had passed away. When she got home she found him at the bottom of the basement stairs.
As you can see...I'm pretty speechless. Life has just pretty much stopped...my Dad was my world. He was the one that told me how proud of me he was everyday.
So anyway...keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I did however go for a run today to just burn off some steam. Pretty sure it was the fastest run in a while.
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