Breakthroughs...

Not even sure if thats how you spell "breakthrough"..I think it is..but it just looks weird to me. Does that ever happen to you? Or you say a word too much..that it doesnt even sound like a word anymore?

ANYWAY...

a HUGE HUGE HUGE THank you to all my blog readers. Your posts were amazing!!! After I hit publish post last night I already felt better. Just getting that all off my chest made me feel soooooo good. Then today..I woke up and when I got in my car that song was on thats like "If you are going through hell..keep on going....you might get out before the devil even knows youre there"..and I thought how perfect! haha

Then I got all your messages...and it made me realize a lot!! A LOT!..Its great to have internet buddies that care about you..you guys are amazing. I also realized that it's quite OK to be sad once in a while. I think I get caught up in trying to be this perfect and strong person in every way. Its OK to wake up somedays in a grumpy mood...or to have a day where you eat too many cookies..or skip a workout...or play hooky from work when you arent sick. It's OK to not have every thread together every second of the day. We are ALL humans...and as much as we strive for perfection...perfection is ugly. Its the flaws that make us beautiful...and desirable..and who we are. I'll never forget this....one day we were doing anesthesia and everything was going well. I look over at one of the monitors and suggest maybe we do something else to make the vitals better...my preceptor then said " Do you know who "Good's" enemy is?" And of course I look at him with that dumb blank stare thinking its some trick anesthesia question. And then he quickly says "Better". If something is good...don't mess with it. Things don't need to be the "best". People don't need to be perfect. I need to quit being so hard on myself when I stumble a little bit. Its perfectly OK.....

So I had a decent day at work....then went to the doctors (long story..)....then went to the gym. I ran a very fast 4 miler...felt amazing!! Then I talked to my husband for a while. He was leaning over my shoulder yesterday when I wrote that blog...and I think he was concerned about me being sad (rightfully so...props to the hubby! haha). We talked...and I told him that we need to talk about things more often. He said he tries not to bring things up (like about my Dad) to avoid bringing me down. I explained to him that I'm a "talker" (obviously)..and that I need to talk about the things that bother me.


All in all...i feel a million times better. And I know its just one day....but its one good day. And maybe tomorrow will be another....and then another.........

Hi I'm RunninDuff....I think we've met before...